Quietitude Weighs Heavy

..And parents have gone back. So has my dear sis aparna.

I have always preferred a balance between calm and chatty times. I have sought quiet contemplation when home bubbles with activity and now ..the emptiness stares at me reminding the clatter and clamor that was life for the past 6 months..

well.. I realize that the clatter and clamor IS life..and quietitude should only be a vacation.. The affectionate awakening with steaming coffee by mom, the long puja by dad accompanied with a barrage of strong verbal push for aparna to get up against her characteristic sleepy defiance to savor the early morning slumber...

Appu is much younger to me and I have never seen her as my sister. The bond between her and me has been more like dad-daughter. Right from she was born, I was have babysat her for hours. The three of us - dad, mom and me - could easily go into our own worlds like cooking, reading and office work respectively and we may not even feel our mutual presence until either hunger beckons or mom sounds the food-bell. But with appu around, the home is always filled with vibrancy which is an admixture of arguments, jokes, laughter, her follies and what not.

That my dear appu - I miss. I never thought I would miss 'clamor'. But I realize that is a part of life.

When you folks were around, I felt a bit suffocated at times with a tight work schedule, weekend plans and the impossibility of finding time for things that otherwise enthuse me - like music. But with you folks gone, I have time but no interest.

Love you all.